Exist
by Kurisu
Summary: (CopyX/X yaoi) "I wanted to exist like you."


Since my friend Marina's birthday is coming up, I decided to write her a fic on the pairing that she's into right now. ^_^ Unfortunately, it was from Megaman Zero, a game I haven't played yet. So, as my "informant" again, Marina just gave me the basics on the game, and I pretty much wrote it out from there. It's non-canon, as I don't have enough information, much less a good idea with X, to write something that's loyal to the storyline. Still, I hope you read and enjoy it.   
I don't own the Rockman series or its storyline. The italicized words (and the line "kimi no you de aritakatta") are from a poem written by Gackt Camui called "4th", which was translated in English by Mina-P. As you can see, this fic includes yaoi, which is male/male, if you're homophobic. I do not place any age restrictions on my fics. If you are mature enough to read it, then you can do so.  
  
Informant's Notes: As mere informant of Krys-sama(and a shitty one at this), I take no credit in whatever wonderful traumatization(be it good or bad XD) the reader gains from this fanfiction. All applause goes directly to *her*, and I'll be DAMNED TO FUCKING HELL if a flame comes out of this. I want to sincerely thank her for the wonderful birthday present that is this artfully written fic ('Rina will be 14 on the 24th. Woo hoo!), and, well.... fuck me, enjoy it. You'd better. I know *I* did. XD Aishiteru!   
  
  
_dazzling..._  
  
Whispers...he could hear them...   
He felt a hand on his cheek, a touch that existed, and suddenly was no more.   
**I know where I am...I know who I am...I know who I am with...** The words repeated in his mind, reiterating...he was not sure why.   
Only that...   
"X...."   
His mind traveled back and forth...conscious...unconscious...conscious again. The darkness enveloped his every being, almost absorbing into him...turning...ever...so...silently. It was this feeling, this event, that brought him to consciousness again with full realization.   
**I couldn't be...could I? After...so long?**   
"Welcome back...X." whispered that voice...that familiar voice...   
X opened his eyes slowly, a feeling he knew a long time ago flooding back to him again. He held his arm in his view, and gasped. After so many years...he didn't believe he would be feeling this again...feeling...alive!   
As he attempted to sit up, he was brought down, a force pushing him back to the table where he lay. It became stronger...stronger...with every attempt at escaping. Footsteps could be heard, and X stared into the eyes of...   
Into...whose eyes?   
Into...his?   
....but they weren't...like his. No...they were...different...they were...dark....yet...light. Evil...yet good...and yet...   
"You're my...copy." said X.   
"Are you surprised?" replied CopyX, a slight smirk on his pale face. His crimson eyes pierced deep inside X's soul, and somehow, he could feel it bleed.   
"I should be, but I'm not. How am I...substantial again? What did you do?"   
CopyX closed his eyes, touching X's cheek with his hand. The reploid shuddered at his duplicate's touch, feeling his eyes grow heavy. But the feeling disappeared again as CopyX pulled his hand away, eyes meeting each other once again.   
"That is something to be explained when the time comes."   
"What if I want it explained?"   
"Then I still wouldn't. But..." His lips moved slowly, closer to X's own.   
"But what?"   
"I would explain why."   
X shivered, the soft breaths on his lips unbearable. He closed his eyes once more. Why did he...for what reason would he want to...it wasn't...   
"Why is it, then?"   
CopyX smiled.   
"So that I am...your keeper. For you to...be at my every command."   
X opened his eyes again, his fists clenched. Against the gravity, he shook his head slowly, attempting to pull himself away, but slammed back down again. It became harder...why could he not escape?   
"It's magnetic, if you're wondering. Designed especially for reploids, but only if you are lying here. Attempt to escape, and the force will become greater."   
X's breaths were heavy, feeling his energy deplete with every push against the magnetic force. CopyX never removed his eyes from X's blue ones, searching their very depths.   
"It's best for you to relax."   
Unconscious tears fell from those same blue eyes.   
"I will not be your slave!" shouted X, his anger flaring.   
"You have no choice, X. I am, and you have no control over that. Now...silence..."   
CopyX moved his lips again towards X's, feeling his copy relax and close his eyes at the touch.  
  
_the earth is being destroyed_  
  
X opened his eyes to a flash of light, forcing him to close them once more. Not once did CopyX's lips leave his, and eventually, X's eyes opened to glimpse at CopyX. At this sight, he almost gasped.   
CopyX's armor was completely white. Emerging from him were six wings, two of which looked real. Feeling his stare, CopyX pulled away, smiling.   
"You may call me...OmegaX." he whispered.   
OmegaX removed X's armor slowly, revealing soft, white skin. He slid his hands over the bare surface, pressing his lips to his replica's neck. X's breaths quickened, and he closed his eyes, not wanting to see who it was...but to feel...   
"It's amazing how we were made so human-like...with skin...that feels so real..." OmegaX moved lower, sending kisses as he traveled further. "....emotions...." Catching a nipple between his lips, he sucked slowly, swirling his tongue around the sides, slowly towards the middle. "....sensitivity....things that...only they had..."   
Moans could be heard, and it wasn't until a while later that X realized they belonged to him. He felt himself become hotter, a wave of heat encircling his body. OmegaX traveled lower...lower...the sensation becoming more...  
  
_proof of the one asking for freedom_  
  
**I can't do this...he's...he's...no...I can't...it needs to...stop...**   
But he didn't want it to stop...not now.   
As he felt his duplicate moving closer towards the center, he shut his eyes. X felt a sudden heat around his member, then a surge of pleasure as his replica closed his mouth around him, sucking slowly. X cried out, wondering if he could be heard by anyone besides his own twin. OmegaX's tongue caressed the sides of his shaft in a languid manner, making its way to the tip.   
**~....enjoying it....~**   
The blue reploid's eyes flew open. Did he...just hear his voice...in his mind?   
**~Yes....you did.~**   
**How is that?**   
**~Because I'm your duplicate.~**   
**...I don't understand...**   
**~There is no need to understand.~**   
X screamed out, the soft touch of OmegaX's tongue on the peak of his arousal was unbearable. He shuddered, releasing into the white reploid's mouth, his replica taking all of the fluid.  
  
_darkness..._  
  
"We were created...with so many things...some not even necessary to a reploid...but only to a human. Even ejaculating...something that a human must do...we do without reason." OmegaX moved his hand across X's bare chest, making the blue reploid writhe in both pleasure and pain. He paused to sweep his fingers across the pale, pink nub, a loud gasp heard by the one in submission.   
"Then why do you destroy them?"   
**~Because...we are without reason. We have no purpose.~**   
"It is necessary to blame yourself, X. Because of you, this has happened."   
X shut his eyes, forcing the tears back. "Don't you think I know this already? I was sick of it all...I couldn't stand it any longer...I just...I couldn't fight anymore."   
"Why not?"   
The blue reploid opened his eyes slowly, looking into orbs of crimson. He couldn't answer.  
  
_memory..._  
  
"Why did you?" he repeated, glancing at death in the depths of blue.   
**I don't know...**   
**~You should know.~**   
**But I don't.**   
The world around X began to come in shades of violet and black, each having its own effect. His mind began to spin, a vertiginous feeling overwhelming him as he lulled into unconsciousness. Slowly, he was brought back by the feeling of OmegaX's lips on his...the world continuing to spin...   
The replica's tongue ventured forth into the depths, dancing with his twin as though there was a certain rhythm...a rhythm created not in a physical sense, but something unknown. It was an unknown lust, in all its glory, and OmegaX seized it with everything he had. He reached for the lever under the table, and turned off the magnet, freeing X from the force that held him.   
**~We were created...with a feeling of lust...a feeling of want...a feeling of desire. They believe that it's not necessary...~**  
  
_nothing exists_  
  
OmegaX removed his own armor, revealing the bare body within. He smiled at the irony of it all, the strangeness of feeling desire for something exactly like himself...yet not the same. X's mind continued to spin as all emotion overwhelmed him, a feeling of euphoria. No longer could he focus on reality, but on his craving alone. It didn't matter anymore who it was...only that...   
He felt something enter him in a quick and fluid motion, emitting a gasp from the blue reploid. Faint screams could be heard, and he wasn't sure which one was actually his. Driving even further into his twin, the duplicate's breaths became heavier, gasps louder than before. There was no world, no reality, no substance...only that feeling....and that feeling alone. It was just the blue reploid and his replica, something he couldn't understand or escape.  
  
_it exists here_  
  
**~...to us...it is a necessary thing. Without desire...we are nothing...~**   
OmegaX began to stroke his twin's member slowly, loud gasps emerging.   
**What are you saying?**  
  
_footprints_  
  
**~There...is...no need...to understand...~**  
  
_the familiar scenery_  
  
At the pinnacle, OmegaX slammed the last bit into X, the reploid's blue eyes flying open in a raw scream. A slight flow of blood could be felt between them, seeping into the paper-thin cover of the table, crimson staining white.   
Crimson..staining...white.   
He could feel it all...the force...impulse....  
  
_whose is it?   
not mine_  
  
Sounds...they were so faint.   
X felt his replica release inside him, and X did so as well. White fluid mixed with blood...white...with...scarlet. Euphoria had escaped, as well as the feeling...   
And blue met crimson again.   
  
_cold look..._  
  
A sharp pain enveloped X's body....choking him. What was happening? He couldn't understand or comprehend it. All he could concentrate on was...pain...   
"You will be at my every command...X."  
  
_words that resound in my heart_  
  
"I will not...be your slave." X writhed in pain, the nightmare taking over. He could feel himself slowly fade.   
"It is either this...or your death."   
X could feel his tears, his eyes empty and frozen. Taken captive by his only duplicate...now his adversary. OmegaX grazed X's cheek with his bare hand, smiling.   
**~So real...~**   
He could feel the pain cease, little by little. The touch of the white reploid's hand was almost soothing, but X could not fall into the caress again, for it might be an artifice of some sort. Yet, what was he to do? Again, he could not move, the magnetic force once again pulling him...forcing him down...  
  
_silence_  
  
They were there, the tears that belonged to only him fell, burning against his skin. He had to escape...had to leave...someway...where would he go?   
Zero...where was Zero?   
**~He is not here, if that is what you are wondering.~**   
**Where is he, then?**   
~**That is of no importance anymore.~**   
**I WANT TO KNOW WHERE HE IS!**   
**~And you will not receive an answer...~**   
X felt a sharp pain as he gazed into the eyes of his replica, the smile that belonged to him burning. OmegaX took his twin's hand, touching the fingers with his own. It was something he did not understand...   
"I was created from you...because of you. Something...so angelic...so beautiful...so fragile."   
Leaning closer to the blue reploid's ear, he whispered.   
"....kimi...no you de...aritakatta...."   
Tearful eyes closed.   
**Zero...**   
**~...no one will come to save you.~**   
**I know he will.**   
**~He does not know that you are substantial again...only I know.~**  
  
_pierced into my chest_  
  
**I want to return.**   
**~Return to where?~**   
**To my previous form.**   
**~I cannot do that.~**   
"Why not....?"   
The blue reploid's head lulled back, feeling sleep overtake him. OmegaX had taken his hand, the soft digits in the warm crevice of his mouth. Sensation returned to X as his duplicate began to suck, and he felt pleasure amplify in every corner of his being, slowly traveling to the center.   
**~As I said before, X...~**   
He swirled his tongue around the tip.   
**~...you belong to me.~**   
**...I will never belong to you.**   
**~You have no choice.~**   
OmegaX released the reploid's hand, an unknown expression across his face.   
"...kimi...no you de...aritakatta."  
  
_i wanted to exist like you_  
  
The world was black.   
"X...are you there? X..." A voice...in the back of his mind...   
....strange....   
**Where am I? ...am I here? Or....have I...**   
"X! Can you hear me?"   
**I know that voice...why can't I speak? Why can't I see?**   
Color returned to his eyes, but all feeling, all sensation had disappeared? Had he dreamt it all? Was it all a false vision? But...he had not experienced anything like that before. He was sure that in this form, he could not dream.   
But then...what was it?   
His vision focused, seeing crimson red before him.   
Crimson...staining...white...   
Color of his eyes...   
"X? Is something wrong?"   
Zero was before him, a worried expression. As the blue reploid reached out to touch him, he found out that all of his substance was lost. What happened to him? Where was his copy?   
"My substance is gone..."   
Zero blinked.   
"Your substance? It's been gone for as long as I can remember, X."   
X felt himself begin to cry, to break down...but he wasn't real. He wasn't substantial as he was before. His tears...they didn't exist.   
**Kimi no you de aritakatta.   
"I wanted to exist like you."**   
And it came to him.   
"Zero?"   
"Yeah?"   
"....I know where my body is."  
  
Owari. 


End file.
